| As the holiday season approaches, there are | | | | "impersonal!" The sender doesn't even have to spend |
| numerous decisions made relevant to the relationships | | | | the time or energy to hand sign the card. There was a |
| in our lives. It is interesting to analyze our decisions | | | | time when I would not even suggest printed computer |
| regarding whom to invite to holiday celebrations, | | | | labels, but as my list grows I do feel a slight change of |
| whether or not to give gifts and if so, how much to | | | | attitude coming on. |
| spend on a particular person, and to whom should | | | | I do believe in technology and efficient use of time, but I |
| greeting cards be sent. | | | | also believe in the personal touch. To me, sending a |
| One of the most puzzling situations in which I find | | | | card with a personal note is a gift of taking time to |
| myself has to do with sending holiday cards to people I | | | | think about the receiver and show interest in him or |
| have not seen or even spoken to for years. High | | | | her. When I open an impersonal, preprinted and |
| school and college friends are mere fragments of | | | | possibly computer labeled card, I ask myself, "Does the |
| memory now. From year to year, I find myself | | | | sender desire to sever this long-term relationship but |
| questioning why we bother to maintain these long-term, | | | | does not want to be the first one to stop?" I sense |
| but distant "relationships." After all, I probably would not | | | | there may be a lack of desire to stay connected even |
| recognize these once close friends if they were | | | | once a year. |
| standing at my door. I have not seen most of them | | | | It is a dilemma! I do not want to be the one to end the |
| since we left school. | | | | relationship either. By why not? What is the value of |
| Yet, I feel as if we are still connected because | | | | maintaining it? What is the benefit? What is the WIIFM |
| throughout the years we have exchanged family and | | | | -- what's in it for me? Maybe it meets a need for me. |
| career updates at holiday time. I "know of" their | | | | A need to share with those who knew me "way back |
| children and their doings from annual updates and | | | | then." To let them know I am doing "okay." I have |
| photos, via holiday cards. I will probably never meet | | | | survived the ups and downs of the years and am still |
| these children, though. But I have felt their parents' love | | | | taking on the challenges presented to me each day. |
| and pride. | | | | Perhaps it allows me to share with pride my family. |
| Our letters and notes express an invitation to stop and | | | | After all, "way back then" this family was a mere |
| visit when we are in one another's neighborhood or | | | | dream we all shared in our youthful innocence. |
| are passing by on the nearest highway. And we | | | | Maybe we hang on so as not to let go of our youth! |
| merely pass by without bothering to call ahead, | | | | Could it be that letting of long-term, though distant, |
| commenting as we pass, "My old school chum lives | | | | relationships is a closing of the door to the past? We |
| near here somewhere! I should stop and visit | | | | may need to keep such relationships to remind us of |
| sometime." Many of us are scattered across the | | | | beginnings - to allow us to measure our progress. |
| country and around the world. We express a desire to | | | | After all, we set the criteria for judging these |
| "get together sometime," knowing it will probably never | | | | accomplishments. |
| happen. Knowing we probably won't make the effort | | | | This is an issue I ponder every November as I print out |
| to make it happen! Knowing we are always rushing to | | | | the holiday card list. Every year there are a few new |
| get to our destination without this detour to stop. | | | | relationships to add to the list. Adding is much easier |
| Still, year after year, we go through this ritual! Why? | | | | than deleting. But then, I think, the list is getting too long. |
| Why can't I just stop sending the cards, notes and | | | | Someone has to go! But whom? And why? And why |
| photos? Why am I disappointed when all I get back is | | | | not? It is time to count the names again. And buy the |
| a card without a note? Why am I even more | | | | cards and stamps. I wonder how many I will need this |
| disappointed when the only "signature" is preprinted | | | | year? |
| names? Personalized cards, they call them! I call them | | | | |